The Kid With The Bayside Hat

The sound of silence setting in.

Cannot freaking wait for our show on Sunday.

Need to let some emotion out.

Deliver me.

Lost my faith, made mistakes, kept myself awake, just to see how it felt to be strung out. And I can say that I’ll change, that I’ll keep you safe. Caroline, don’t give up.

Losing hope,

Sailing alone across your night sky,

I’m trying to show you fireworks, so

Why don’t you notice?

A small note for someone who may or may not read this

[Note: This is not a love letter, nor is it a “let’s get back together” letter. Simply a passing thought in wake of some recent events.]

I truly believe what happened between us hurt you to the point where you’ve made totally illogical, irrational, and maniacal decisions over the past however long it’s been.

I should’ve made sure you were ok. But I didn’t. I feel as though that blame rests soley on my shoulders. And now, well, now I have no idea what you’re doing to yourself. You are everything we once mocked together and promised we’d never become. The deullsion is hard to look at without a sinking feeling overcoming me. Can you really fool everyone like that?

Here’s to the girl who’s heart after all this time, I believe, has yet to heal.

I’m sorry.

So much has changed.

Five quick thoughts about 5 unnamed people:

1. You’re the reason I’m posting this.
2. I literally believe you’re living you’re life trying to get back at me. I wish you’d stop. It hurts to see you being so stupid. I wish I could save you, but it’s been too long since we’ve spoken.
3. I never want to stop being around you guys. We make people, and ourselves happy with what we create. Let’s never let that go.
4. You, and the things you do leave me speechless. And I have no idea what to do anymore.
5. I will always love you. Don’t let go of that as long as you live.

I’m just back to say.

Hey.

I wonder if she loves me.

As more and more days pass, I second guess everything.

I should just trust it’ll all be okay. But something like this has never happened. I want to so god damned badly. I just hope that she does. I guess I can’t possibly know until I find out. She’s all I think about.

Maybe this will actually work. Maybe my plan can make this right and we’ll be happy. Maybe everything she said was true.

God, I hope so.